Very Important Research

April 7, 2014

OMFG! I’m still alive! And so are you! AWESOMESAUCE! OK, now let’s move on.

Yesterday was the anniversary of Mr. Blue Collar and me deciding to put up with each other’s shit for the foreseeable future. We’ve put up with each other for 14 years now. And we’ve also decided to bring a third person onto our relationship…Uncle Sam! That’s right, I’m hopping back on the grid and gettin’ hitched to my main squeeze next year.

I have to say, one of my few super girly guilty pleasures is I love weddings. Despite that fact, I’m not the kind of person who has been planning my wedding since I was 5. I honestly never really thought I’d get married. So I’m having fun trying to plan the most inexpensive yet fun wedding shindig possible while still capturing the awesomeness that is our Blue Collar relationship.

I’ll write more about the ridiculousness of wedding planning in the future. Today, I want to talk about the most important research I’ve done so far. And that is…trying to find the corniest, cheesiest, most annoying love song possible. While searching for a craptastic song I could dedicate to the love of my life, I realized that the list could go on for pages BUT there are definitely 3 songs that everyone loves to hate when it comes to this genre.

I checked 10 (American) lists and this song was on 8 of them

I was like 10 when this song came out, and I LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF IT, YOU JERKS! Don’t judge me. I still know all the words. I still am jealous of their sweet hairstyles. I still don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. So what?! It is magic.

This one showed up on 9 of the lists

I tried coming up with something witty for this, but there’s really nothing funny about that NSync song. I think I intentionally blocked the memory of that song’s existence from my mind. I hate it. I hate it like poison. Let us never speak of it again.

Finally, we have the one song that showed up on every single list that I checked. That’s right. 10 out of 10 people who make arbitrary lists of shitty love songs agree, this is the worst love song, EVAR!

You know what that video needs? More people wearing turtle necks under leather jackets.

Anyway, this post and that last craptastic song are dedicated to you, Mr. Blue Collar! I don’t want to stand with you on a mountain, cuz I’m afraid of heights. I don’t want to bathe with you in the sea because jellyfish. Also, that’s where marine life poops. But I do want to be with you for, like, a really long time.

I love you more than hipsters love skinny jeans and irony.

 

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