By now i’m sure you’ve all heard about FRANKENSTORM!!! There are 3 things about this storm that are more catastrophic than the actual weather.
1. I get Sandy from Grease stuck in my head EVERY GODDAMN TIME I listen to the news. I love that movie, but that song makes me want to stick a qtip all the way in my ears. Fuck that song.
2. It makes our Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, speak Spanish. Here’s what he sounded like last year for Hurricane Irene. I’d admire him for trying if a) Spanish speaking people actually understood wtf he’s saying, and b) if I didn’t know for a fact that he has a number of Spanish speaking people on his staff.
3. Sandy’s supposed to hit shore tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is my birthday. I didn’t make any plans, but still. Wtf, nature?! Last year, you made it snow on my bday. But that wasn’t enough for you, was it? Noooo. You gotta be all dramatic an’ shit. Gotta go and mix a hurricane and a winter storm together. What’s next? A tornado? Alien landings? A Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, & Tooth Fairy sex tape scandal?! Enough is ENOUGH, Nature!
(Dedicated to all my fellow east coast peeps who have to deal with this crap. Stay safe and try to find the humor in all this. Also, stock up on le booze 😉 )