And the Group Of Pricks Are At It Again

February 16, 2012


These guys are experts on birth control. No, they’re not doctors, or pharmacists, and they don’t have lady bits(…i don’t think). But these are the people who were chosen to testify at a hearing examining the Obama administration’s new regulation requiring employers and insurers to provide contraception coverage to their employees. Of course, the Group Of Pricks has a problem with this new regulation. Because, you know, why the fuck not, right?

The head prick, Rep. Darrell Issa barred women from testifying because people with vaginas have no say in what goes on…with vaginas.

“As the hearing is not about reproductive rights and contraception but instead about the Administration’s actions as they relate to freedom of religion and conscience, he believes that Ms. Fluke is not an appropriate witness.”

The issue is not just who is going to pay for birth control (BC)coverage. The issue is whether or not religious employers who oppose BC should be exempt from covering the cost of BC even though their business has no religious affiliations. It becomes a question of whether or not a religious employer has the right to impose their personal misogynistic religious views on their female employees, some of whom get paid less than their male counterparts. What if an employer is no longer required to pay for a woman’s BC coverage and she can’t afford it anymore? Also, many women take the pill for noncontraceptive reasons, like endometriosis. Should they be made to stay sick and suffer all because of one person’s dogma? I’m pretty sure most religions frown on that sort of thing, right? Further proof of being pro-life only from conception to birth.

Let’s be honest, this is about women’s right to control when they want to make womb fruit. There are still people, men and women, who think sexy time is only for baby making and women should just accept it and get back in the kitchen(shoes optional. After all, this is the 21st century).

The reason why sexual freedom is brought up by people like me is because there is no one, no employer I know of anyway, that is morally opposed to viagra and is trying to get out of paying for it. And the costs are nearly the same. So it’s ok for men to have sex with no consequences(because of no-cost access to condoms) well into their old age(because employers may cover insurance costs of boner pills), but women can’t even get coverage for a hormonal medicine they may need for health reasons? And if BC is “playing god” , “denying the will of god”, or “deviating from god’s plan”, then so is taking a pill that makes your peepee practice planking. After all, don’t you think that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in all his flavorful wisdom, has a reason for inflicting the soggies on your no-no noodly appendage?

You know what really pissed me off though? The fact that this is a distraction from a very important campaign issue: the Group Of Pricks has absolutely no jobs plan. WHERE ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING JOBS?!


Cupid Can Suck It

February 14, 2012

This morning I saw a guy curse out the cashier in Rite Aid. Then I saw a guy curse out the traffic cop giving him a parking ticket. All this love in the air can mean only one thing… HAPPY VD, BIZNOTCHEZZZZ!

Oh Ricky You’re So Dumb/

February 9, 2012

You’re so dumb I think you’re scum/Hey Ricky! That’s right, Mr. Rape-Victims-Should-Make-The-Best-Of-It Santorum has opened his mouth yet again. Now he’s implying that Obama, a Christian, wants to crush religion.

SANTORUM: They are taking faith and crushing it. Why? Why? When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights, then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is the government that gives you right, what’s left are no unalienable rights, what’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the guillotine. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re a long way from that, but if we do and follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are headed down that road.

Look out, religious bitches, the French are gonna come and guillotine your ass into secularism!

Oh Ricky what a pity you don’t understand/the document we use to govern this land! (I know, that one was a stretch.)
And I like how being like France is paraded out as a threat. What with their 5 week vacations, healthcare, shorter work weeks, up to a year in maternity leave, and free education through college I can totally see why we should be terrified of that shit.

Dumbass of the Week

February 2, 2012


So, I wrote 2 posts that no one gives a shit about but that I actually put some thought and effort into. That’s right, I made the fatal mistake of giving a fuck about what you people think and now I feel like doodoo. Shame on me! Now it’s time to make fun of fundies!

I saw the headline on this article and I laughed and laughed. So I decided that our DotW is Kristi Watts & the 700 Club, because FUCK YOU, I LOVE WICCANS!

Fundamentalist Kristi Watts Upset that Atheists Do Not Hate Wiccans

Yeah! Why are you atheists always picking on xtians?! Why don’t you go after them thar heathen-pagans?!

Kristi Watts, described on her bio as being “upbeat and quick with a smile” but apparently none too bright, and who never to let slip an opportunity to demonstrate this, later chimed in with by saying that since Wicca “believes in the environment and believes that trees are there God,” then “why are these atheists not saying we should cut down every tree because it’s offensive?”

…HAAHAAHAHAHA! Really? No, really??? First of all, the fact that the 700 club and Pat Robertson are still around is all the proof I need that there is no god.

Secondly, reading is fucking fundamental. What Wiccans believe varies, but they don’t worship trees. Seriously, Kristi(never trust a chick with an i instead of a y at the end her name), learn how to use the fucking googles before you open your mouth.

Thirdly, the reason why atheists and wiccans get along pretty well is that we’re generally not trying to murder each other. CAAAARRRAZZZYYY, right?! I mean, with those eeeebil wiccans being all like “an that it harm none, then do what ye will” and atheists and their “good without god” and general dislike for preachiness, it’s so difficult to see why these groups pretty much leave each other alone!

I suspect that extreme right wing xtian support of corporate polluting and denial of global climate change is just another way for them to attack pagans, especially if they think pagans’ gods are actually trees and shit.

I bet Kristi WithAFuckingI Watts is bff with a former DotW. Remember Christine O’Dumbass? Yeah, I try not to either. I bet they call themselves the Krissi Sissies. I bet they dabble into all kinds of picnic table witchery type stuff. I got my eye on you, Krissi Sissies!


February 1, 2012

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about Susan G. Komen for the Cure pulling its funding from Planned Parenthood.

Planned Parenthood says the move results from Komen bowing to pressure from anti-abortion activists. Komen says the key reason is that Planned Parenthood is under investigation in Congress —a probe launched by a conservative Republican who was urged to act by anti-abortion groups.

By the way, Komen’s rule about not giving $ to organizations who are under local, state, or federal investigation is brand spanking new.

Of course this news led to one BCM cursing at a dumbshit smartphone all night. And we all know what happens when BCM gets all cuss-y. That’s right, let’s break this shit DOWN, son!

Now, you would think that an organization like Komen would employ non-partisan people to run shit, right? Well, you thought wrong SUKKAH! Let’s meet Karen Handel, the senior VP of public policy at Komen. She also ran for governor of Georgia in 2010 and was endorsed by Failin’ Palin, among other dumbasses. While campaigning, she wrote a blog post about her views on Planned Parenthood and abortion. The post was removed from her site, but luckily the internet has a long memory.

I am staunchly and unequivocally pro-life. I believe in the sanctity and inherent dignity of human life, and I will be a pro-life governor who will work tirelessly to promote a culture of life in Georgia.

Yeah, Handel? Tell that to the thousands of people who won’t be able to get cancer screenings now. You’re pro-life til the moment of birth or unless a person is poor/uninsured.

No, I don’t think this woman is the only reason Komen bowed to RWNJ misogyny. So, I did a little more digging. On the Komen site you can see who their corporate sponsors and their “million dollar counsil” donors are. If you look about half way down the list you see 2 Georgia-Pacific companies. Guess who owns Georgia-Pacific? Why, it’s our favorite corporate douches, Koch Industries! If reading that doesn’t bother you, you have some reading to do. And this is just what I’ve found in the few snatches of quiet time I’ve had today. I’m sure you sexy nerds can educate me even further on the fuckery that’s probably going on at Komen.

Time for some BCM truthiness. Dollars and cents(sense?) time.

The per-patient costs for initial care in 1992 were estimated at $US 10,813, for continuing care at $US 1,084 and for terminal care at $US 17,886.

Basically, it’s cheaper to catch boobie cancer early and kick that bitch to the curb than to get diagnosed when you’re at, say, stage 3. But this is common fucking sense. Is it more cost effective to get a car tuned up regularly or to wait til your ass is stranded on a highway in East Bubblefuck Nowhere?

Please remember, only 3% of PP’s resources are used for terminating pregnancies (I’m tired of repeating myself, bitchez). For women like me, Planned Parenthood is one of the only places I can go to get my bits checked. And trust me, you don’t want anything bad happening to my rack. You can’t see it, but I promise you, it’s fabulous.

Below is the note I wrote to Komen for the Cure. I’m not gonna tell you what to do with your time or money. Just think about what your donations are supporting before you make them.

This is a note to inform you that I will never again donate a penny of my money or a second of my time to your organization. Your decision to pull funding from Planned Parenthood is not only saddening, it is infuriating. It sends a message to low-income/uninsured  women- their health is not as important as the misogynistic ideologies of some of your staff and some members of congress. 170,000 people will suffer, including me. Shame on you.
I will be suggesting to all my friends and associates (yes, poor people have influence, too. Surprise!) that they make donations to planned parenthood and other cancer associations instead of your grossly classist and apathetic organization.