Dumbass of the Week

It’s the Group Of Pricks’ primary  season. That can mean only one thing… DUMBASS TIME!

In a primary chock full of dumb fuckery, you’re probably wondering how I could choose a dumbass at all. Well, my lovelies, there can be only one. This week’s winner is…. Rick Santorum!

Oh, where to begin? I think it’s time to go back. Way back. Back into time. Back to a time before Rick was against “Obamacare.” You know, when he was for it.

Santorum introduced the idea of a medical savings account, called Medisave, which has become part of the Gramm bill. Under it, workers would buy major medical insurance and could make tax-free contributions to a Medisave account, from which they would pay for preventive services

Wait a minute…pay into an account in order to guard against future calamities… HE MUST BE A PINKO COMMIE!! Oh wait, I forgot, IOKIYAR applies here.

Then there’s Rick’s weird obsession with denying rights to gay people.

Santorum was quoted as saying: [1] “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.” It also included additional remarks criticizing “homosexual acts”: [7] “Whether it’s polygamy, whether it’s adultery, whether it’s sodomy, all of those things, are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family.”

That’s right! If the gays are allowed to have married gay sexy time, the WHOLE WORLD WILL END!! God totally agrees with Rick, btw. Rick just longs for the days when he could hold hands with his honey through the tunnel of love. By “hold hands” I mean have ungodly sex with, and by “tunnel of love” I mean…well you get the idea. I’m not saying that Rick’s hard drive is full of mp4s that would make 4channers blush. I’m just saying me thinks the Ricky doth protest too much.

And last, but certainly not least, there is this special piece of wtf. Rick Santorum believes women who are the victims of rape should have to keep the rapist’s baby.

SANTORUM: Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn’t have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life. And this is not an easy choice. I understand that. As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or doesn’t, it will always be her child. And she will always know that. And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I’ve always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created —in the sense of rape —but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. As you know, we have to, in lots of different aspects of our life. We have horrible things happen. I can’t think of anything more horrible. But, nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation.

Ummm, what? Hey Rick, in life when we receive a “broken gift” we send that shit back for an exchange or a refund. Save the receipt, mofo! If that’s the kind of “gift” your god gives, I really hope he doesn’t pick me for secret santa.

Seriously though, this kind of shit proves a complete lack of empathy. Yes, there are some women who can deal with the trauma of having and raising a child born as result of rape. But not all of them can. For some women, just the pregnancy itself is a constant reliving of the rape. For 9 months. And are Rick & the people who support him on this issue suggesting tougher punishments for rapists? Or increasing the number of police officers who are trained to protect, console and defend these women? Or increasing funding for therapy in order to get through the trauma so that these women can attempt to care for these babies they’d be forced to carry to term? Because I haven’t heard a fucking thing about that. All I hear is very thinly veiled victim blaming. “You got yourself raped, now deal with it.” It’s misogynistic, bible-thumping bullshit. I can’t believe things like this are even a fucking issue anymore.

I think Rick should come visit NYC as a social experiment. With all the marriage equality and pro-choice sentiments, do you think he’d just lose it? Go on a goat-raping-dude-boning-fetus-aborting rampage? Come on, Rick. Do it for SCIENCE!


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