Get Outta My Uterus!

My fav pic from a planned parenthood rally I went to recently

Hey ladies, are you having pains in your lady bits lately? Well, look down. It’s from all those GOP dildos trying to get all up in your vag (There are a few GOP lawmakers who are not total douches):

Dozens of bills are advancing through statehouses nationwide that would put an array of new obstacles—legal, financial and psychological—in the paths of women seeking abortions.

(*I just found out the # of anti-choice bills being decided on this year…351!! If you’re not mad yet, you should be)

That’s right! The “anti-big government” part of the government wants to extend the long arm of the law right up into your uterus. The GOP is claiming that the gov’t is broke (WARNING: right-wing link) and can’t afford to fund family planning programs or centers like Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood gets about a third of it’s funding from the federal government through Title X Family planning program. Title X, by the way, was signed into law by Nixon and was supported by both sides of the aisle because it would lessen the burden on welfare programs. Remember when Conservatives used to actually be good at pretending to be conservative?

Now depending on which hypocrite Republican you talk to, you get all kinds of reasons why funding for reproductive health is bad. The party line seems to be “fiscal responsibility” though. Yyyyeeeaaaah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and call bullshit on that one:

The Informed Choice Act, introduced by Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) in January, would authorize grants “to nonprofit tax-exempt organizations for the purchase of ultrasound equipment to provide free examinations to pregnant women needing such services, and for other purposes.” According to the current draft of the bill, which as of yet has no co-sponsor, qualifying centers would receive 50 percent of the purchase price of the ultrasound machine involved, or $20,000, whichever is less. The bill appropriates $5 million for this initiative for fiscal year 2012 and “such sums as may be necessary for each of the fiscal years 2013 through 2014.”

Basically, this bill would provide more funding to Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Another bill was recently signed into law by South Dakota’s head dildo Governor Dennis Daugaar that requires women to wait 72 hours between the first counseling session with the doctor and the abortion and also requires women to first visit crisis pregnancy centers. Which leads one to ask,  WTF is a crisis pregnancy center? They are non-profit organizations that try to dissuade women from terminating their pregnancies. They are mostly run by religious institutions and are notorious for spreading lies. My favorite is the false claim that women who have abortions have an increase in depression and such. They don’t.

Nonetheless, having had an abortion (or more than one) had no relation with self-esteem in either group: “For both Black women and White women, prior self-esteem was the biggest predictor of subsequent self-esteem,” the authors note. The same held true when they compared Black and White women who reported a religious affiliation and high or low church attendance with those who were not religious.

And there’s also the claim that abortion leads to an increased risk for breast cancer. It doesn’t.

The largest, and probably the most reliable study on this topic was done during the 1990s in Denmark, a country with very detailed medical records on all its citizens. In that study, all Danish women born between 1935 and 1978 (a total of 1.5 million women) were linked with the National Registry of Induced Abortions and with the Danish Cancer Registry. All of the information about their abortions and their breast cancer came from registries – it was very complete and was not influenced by recall bias.

After adjusting for known breast cancer risk factors, the researchers found that induced abortion(s) had no overall effect on the risk of breast cancer. The size of this study and the manner in which it was done provides good evidence that induced abortion does not affect a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer.

Don’tcha just love the smell of honesty in the <insert part of day you’re reading this here>? From all of the accounts I’ve read, the purpose of these centers is to tell you how horrible it is for you to even think about harming a fetus and that sweet baby Jesus is crying in heaven because of you. YOU BIG MEANIE! Remember, these are the same people that were trying to shove that abstinence-only bullshit down our throats. Also remember how WRONG(pdf) they were about that.

The real deal is that the GOP doesn’t care about funding reproductive health centers. They don’t want to fund centers that provide abortions. That’s what’s behind the witch hunt against Planned Parenthood. Listen folks, only about 3% of the medical services provided by PPH are abortions. Mostly, they provide contraception to the community, low cost STD/STI testing and treatment, and cancer screenings. And, because of the Hyde Amendment, no federal money goes to the actual abortions. So, WTF people? Seriously, keep you rosaries off my goddamn ovaries.

Now, let’s get really real about this whole thing. It costs more to have a kid than it costs to not have one. Not only does it cost more for the person/people having the kid, it costs more for taxpayer.

The Guttmacher Institute(pdf) estimated in 2008 that every dollar spent on family planning saves taxpayers $3.74 in government spending on prenatal care, childbirth, and the first year of an infant’s health care. But if more women who are financially stressed end up bearing children they don’t want, the costs of pregnancy and infant care will quickly be dwarfed by government spending on public assistance, food stamps, and health care.

Let’s break it down Blue Collar style. That means dollars and cents, baby. The average cost of condoms in the U.S. is anywhere from free (at places like PPH) to about $20 – $30 per pack, depending on brand, amount per pack, etc.. (If you’re not in a monogamous relationship DON’T BE SILLY, WRAP YOUR WILLIE!)

Birth control pills costs about $20 to $50 a month if you don’t have health insurance. And you can only get the pill through a prescription.

An intrauterine device, or IUD, costs about $500 – $1000 and lasts from 5 to 12 years depending on the type of IUD you choose.

The cost of a vasectomy ranges from $350 to $1000 and is permanent (well, it can be reversed but it’s meant to be permanent).

Tubal Ligation, or “having your tubes tied” is a form of female sterilization that is meant to be permanent and can cost from $1500 – $6000.

An abortion in the first trimester costs $350 – $550. Abortions later in pregnancy cost more. Abortions ARE NOT contraception.

The “pull out” method is free, but not as effective as other forms of birth control.

The cost of raising a child varies depending on a number of things. I’m going to use this handy Cost of Raising a Child Calculator I found online. My son was born in 2001 in the NE, we make less than $56,300 annually, it is a 2 parent home, and we want him to at go to college so I put in Public College (CUNY, FTW!) and the grand total I’m likely to spend raising my child is ::drum roll:: $265,640! And that’s a planned pregnancy, mind you. That doesn’t include how much it costs taxpayers if I were on public assistance of any kind or anything like that.

Now let’s say I don’t get sterilized. Say I decide to buy contraception once a month. Let’s say I spend $50 a month on birth control because I like the stuff with all the bells and whistles, that’s $600 per year. I’m going to be 30 this year so I probably have 20 years until menopause at most. $600 per year x 20 years = $12,000.

The bottom line in my opinion is this, I’ll stay out of your churches if you stay the fuck out of my vagina. And I’ll stop calling you out on your stupid bullshit when you stop being a bunch of hypocritical misogynistS (that includes the women who support the bare foot and pregnant ideologies). Stop pretending this is about fiscal responsibility and start taking care of the shit that actually matters. Does that sound like a good deal to you, GOP?



26 Responses to Get Outta My Uterus!

  1. Great post, BCM. What a smackdown. “I’ll stay out of your churches if you stay the fuck out of my vagina. And I’ll stop calling you out on your stupid bullshit when you stop being a bunch of hypocritical misogynistS” <–this

  2. Jackie says:

    This is only the second blog entry I’ve read by you, and I have to say I LIKE YOU. A LOT. Not in the creepy way Fitzgerald “likes” his boss Scott Walker. More of a “I think we were separated at birth” kind of way. I shall most def keep reading!

  3. […] Blue Collar Mamma tells the GOP that she’ll stay out of their churches if they will stay out of her vagina. […]

  4. […] Bluecollarmamma declares: I’ll stay out of your churches if you stay the fuck out of my vagina. […]

  5. Michelle the Red says:

    I am totally stealing the line, “Keep your rosaries off my ovaries”!! Great post, but you do know rethugs don’t care about facts or results? It’s all about their ideology over sound public policy.

  6. sbgypsy says:

    (If you’re not in a monogamous relationship DON’T BE SILLY, WRAP YOUR WILLIE!)

    Or, as ZZTOP put it, in trucker’s language:

    “Cover your Rig”

  7. Rockerbabe says:

    I could’t agree more! Thanks for the enjoyable read on this most serious of topics. The bottom line, is that abortion isn’t about babies, never was and never will be. Anti abortion laws are about power and control, control and power over women of childbearing age.

    The power to control a women’s life decisions by taking away her choices.
    The power to control her destiny by forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do with her body; I do belive that is slavery, as per the classic definition.
    The power to control her direction in life.
    The power to deny her her own life in cases of a pregnancy going “south”.
    The power to control her education, job prospects, thus her economic viability.
    The power to revictimize a rape or incest victim again, because we all know “they asked for it”.
    The power of men to keep a women under their control in terms of abuse, terror, stalking and fear inducing acts. Pregnant women just can’t run that far away and with children in tow, one is forced to deal with the fathers on some level.
    The power to force a women to take risk with her body intergrity that no one can take for her, but she has to deal with the aftermath without the decision making capability.

    The anti abortion crowd is just another woman hating group with ideations of power and control at the expense of women. Thanks much BCM!

  8. Beth says:

    Thanks so much for this! I have been fighting these same fools at another site for the past few hours and you are much more articulate than I am!

  9. Zach says:

    If S. Dak. thinks a 72 hour waiting period plus counseling is necessary in order to undergo an abortion, then surely they must think a similar waiting period and counseling should be required before purchasing firearms. Especially since they don’t seem to want to abstain from owning them.

  10. MichaelEdits says:

    I believe in abortion at any time between conception and when it either moves out or pays rent.

    Seriously, it’s the woman’s call, not the GOP’s. And I walk my talk, too. I never made a baby, and I had my vasectomy over 20 years ago. If only the dildos in the GOP would follow my example…

  11. Zooey says:

    Awesome — SHARED!

  12. […] Hey ladies, are you having pains in your lady bits lately? Well, look down. It's from all those GOP dildos trying to get all up in your vag (There are a few GOP lawmakers who are not total douches): Dozens of bills are advancing through statehouses nationwide that would put an array of new obstacles—legal, … Read More […]

  13. […] remember, only 3% of PP’s resources are used for terminating pregnancies (I’m tired of repeating myself, bitchez). For women like me, Planned Parenthood is one of the only places I can go to get my bits checked. […]

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