Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

HOLY EAT TIL YOU BURST, BATMAN! IT’S ANOTHER PKD! It’s been too long since my last PKD. But I’ve been busy doing very important things. Finally, I’ve decided you’re all worthy of a new recipe or two. You should feel special. My recipes are like manna from heaven(no they’re not).

This year our little Blue Collar tribe is going to someone’s house for the Autumn Holiday(a.k.a Thanksgiving. This is awesome on many levels. Mostly because it means less cleaning for me, but also because it’s nice to spend time with old friends and make new ones. And we get to make a pass-around dish or 2(or 3). So, I thought I’d let you in on what I’m thinking about making for Thursday.

I love making dessert for a pass-around dish. They’re easy and delicious (JUST LIKE YOUR MOM). One of my ideas for this Thursday is Chocolate Sweetie Pie:

Ingredients:

2 bars (about 3 1/2 oz each) extra-dark chocolate (65% cacao), broken up
2 tubs (8 oz each) mascarpone (soft Italian cheese), at room temperature
One 6-oz ready-to-fill Oreo pie crust (reserve plastic lid)

Garnish: whipped cream and colored sprinkles (optional)

Directions:

1. Microwave chocolate in a small bowl on high, stirring every 10 to 15 seconds, until melted and smooth.

2. Put mascarpone into a large bowl; stir in chocolate until no white streaks remain. Spoon into pie crust; spread evenly. Refrigerate at least 1 hour or until firm, or cover with lid and refrigerate overnight.

3. If refrigerated overnight, let stand at room temperature 30 minutes before serving so that it softens slightly. Garnish with whipped cream and sprinkles, if desired.

How simple and yummy does that sound? You don’t have to use a pre-made Oreo crust if you don’t want to. Feel free to make your own. Also, I’m going to use semi-sweet chocolate instead of extra dark chocolate because I want the kiddies to like it. I’ve never used mascarpone, so it should be interesting.

If you want to make something just as yummy but with more work involved, try this recipe for Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies with Walnuts and Dried Cranberries(I got this recipe from Cook’s Illustrated Magazine):

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (6 1/4 ounces)
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon table salt
1 1/4 cups rolled oats , old-fashioned, (3 1/2 ounces)
1 cup toasted walnuts (4 ounces), chopped
1 cup dried cranberries (5 ounces), chopped coarse
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate , chopped into chunks about size of chocolate chips (about 3/4 cup)
12 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 1/2 sticks), softened but still cool
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar (10 1/2 ounces), preferably dark
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Adjust oven racks to upper- and lower-middle positions; heat oven to 350 degrees. Line 2 large (18 by 12-inch) baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in medium bowl. In second medium bowl, stir together oats, walnuts, cranberries, and chocolate.

3. In standing mixer fitted with flat beater, beat butter and sugar at medium speed until no sugar lumps remain, about 1 minute. Scrape down sides of bowl with rubber spatula; add egg and vanilla and beat on medium-low speed until fully incorporated, about 30 seconds. Scrape down bowl; with mixer running at low speed, add flour mixture; mix until just combined, about 30 seconds. With mixer still running on low, gradually add oat/nut mixture; mix until just incorporated. Give dough final stir with rubber spatula to ensure that no flour pockets remain and ingredients are evenly distributed.

4. Divide dough evenly into 16 portions, each about 1/4 cup, then roll between palms into balls about 2 inches in diameter; stagger 8 balls on each baking sheet, spacing them about 2 1/2 inches apart. Using hands, gently press each dough ball to 1 inch thickness. Bake both baking sheets 12 minutes, rotate them front to back and top to bottom, then continue to bake until cookies are medium brown and edges have begun to set but centers are still soft (cookies will seem underdone and will appear raw, wet, and shiny in cracks), 8 to 10 minutes longer. Do not overbake.

5. Cool cookies on baking sheets on wire rack 5 minutes; using wide metal spatula, transfer cookies to wire rack and cool to room temperature.

I know that seems like a lot of hard work. I’ve had these cookies before and they are worth it. If you don’t have a stand mixer you can use a hand mixer. It’ll just take longer and you’ll have to be more thorough in making sure there are no flour pockets that don’t incorporate into the dough. If you don’t have either a hand or stand mixer, FUCK YOU, make the first recipe.

OK, so maybe you don’t want to bring a dessert(commie!). Maybe you want to bring something on the savory side. Something “Thanksgiving-y” but without the hassle of a giant side dish. Try this Cranberry and Tomato Chutney:

Ingredient:

5 cups fresh or frozen cranberries
1 can(28 oz) crushed tomatoes
1 cup golden raisins
¾ cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon ground ginger

Directions:

In a large saucepan, combine all ingredients. Bring to boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 20 – 25 minutes or until cranberries and raisins are tender, stirring occasionally. Cool. Cover and refrigerate for at 2 days before serving.

Nice, simple, yummy. You could add a pinch of red pepper flakes if you wanted it to have a little kick.

If you want to bring something a little more substantial, there’s my recipe for shrimp ceviche or this recipe for warm bacon potato salad. You can’t go wrong with either. Well, you could but I can’t be held responsible for your ineptitude.

I think that’s a nice little list of possibilities for Thursday. I hope this helped any of you who were wondering what you should make(I really don’t give a shit). If you try any of these, let me know how it turned out.

I hope you all have a delicious, fun, inebriated, and safe holiday.

Enjoy, biznotchezzzzzzzzzzz!


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2 Responses to Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

  1. writechic says:

    You rock for putting these up!! Thanks. 🙂 You made remember that I used to make a kick-ass chocolate cream dish when my kids were younger, but I lost it. You’ve inspired me to hunt that bitch recipe down.

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