Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

Oh. My fucking. God. I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last posted a PKD. You must be so frustrated with me, wondering why I’m not paying as much attention to you as I used to. Remembering all those recipes we’ve shared, wondering if I’m sharing my recipes with other lovelies. Asking yourselves if those recipes meant as much to me as they did to you. NO, they didn’t! HAHAHAHAHA! What? You don’t buy my groceries. You don’t pay for my kitchen supplies. YOU DON’T OWN ME!!!

I don’t know about you people, but I LOVE celebrating my friends’ birthdays. I love cooking for them and making them cakes. I want to make sure they know that I’m glad their parents did unprotected naughty things that resulted in their births. 2 of my friends have birthdays coming up. I’ve been trying to think of what I can do for them this year. While I have no idea what I’m going to cook because that depends on the choices available at the market that day, I think I’ve figured out what to do with the cake(s).

In keeping with the PKD motto(DAMN THE MAN! Make that shit yo’self!), I’ve decided to make their cake(s) fancier by using this recipe for rolled fondant. Fondant is basically a sugar blanket you put over a cake to give it a smooth, clean surface. You can also use it to make pretty decorations for said cake. Now, there are some famous bakeries that will charge a minimum of $1000 for a fancy shmancy cake. I’m sure they are very talented cake artists and deserve every penny(must…resist…eye-roll…), but this here is a blue collar blog. And this blue collar mamma does not have $1000 for no cake. So, here we go:


* 1 cup light corn syrup
* 1 cup shortening
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon clear vanilla extract
* 2 pounds confectioners’ sugar


1. In a large bowl, stir together the shortening and corn syrup. Mix in the salt and vanilla flavoring, then gradually mix in the confectioners’ sugar until it is a stiff dough. If you are using a stand mixer, use the dough hook attachment. Otherwise, knead by hand. If the dough is sticky, knead in more confectioners’ sugar until it is smooth. Store in an airtight container at room temperature or in the refrigerator.

2. To use, roll out on a clean surface that has been dusted with confectioners’ sugar until it is 1/8 inch thick or thinner if you can. Drape over frosted and chilled cakes and smooth the sides down, or cut into strips to make bows and other decorations.

I know, I know. There’s corn syrup in this recipe. I tried to find one without it and failed. The good thing is the fondant peels off. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.

I honestly think that using your hands would be the best thing here(THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID), instead of a mixer. Also, in order to make the fondant stick to the cake, you’ll have to put a light layer of frosting on the cake. Not a lot. Just a thin layer to cover. You can use the canned stuff if you want. I just use the recipe on the back of the box of confectioner’s sugar to make my own. And make sure the cake is COMPLETELY COOLED! If it isn’t, the fondant will not sit right on the cake. It might even melt a bit. Not cute.

The cake(s) I’m making will probably be chocolate with some kind of chocolate-y, fruity goodness for filling. I can’t tell you what the design will be for 2 reasons. 1 – My friends read this blog and I want it to be a surprise, and 2 – It’s none of your fucking business 😀

Enjoy biznotchezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!


One Response to Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

  1. […] some friends of mine had a birthday coming up and I was going to make dinner and cake for them. Don’t you remember? See, you never listen to me! Anyway, I decided not to make the fondant covered cakes after all. I […]

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