Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

How are you fantastic biznotchez on this not so fine, muggy, cloudy day? Alright, you got me, I really don’t care how you’re doing. I just know you’re all sitting there, rolling your eyes at the screen and saying, “well, finally, BCM has seen fit to throw us another PKD crumb!” Yes, I suppose you’ve suffered without my presence for long enough. Here we go.

I’ll be honest with you. Lil Blue doesn’t get home until next Tuesday, so there really isn’t a whole lot of cooking going on in here. And Mr. Blue Collar has been spoiling me by cooking a few times this past week(shocking, I know). Basically, I’ve been a lazy fuck for the last few days. Well, lazier than usual anyway.

So, I was going through my recipes today. I keep them in the kitchen either on my magnetic cork board, or in a magnetic picture frame thingy on the fridge. It may not be efficient, but it works for me SO QUIT YOUR JUDGING! Anyway, I found a recipe I haven’t tried yet and I thought I’d share it with you. Ready?

Oatmeal Breakfast Bars:

4 cups quick cooking oats
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp salt
1½ cups chopped walnuts
¾ cup butter, melted
¾ cup orange marmalade

1 – In a mixing bowl, combine oats, brown sugar, and salt.
2 – Stir in remaining ingredients and mix well
3 – Press into a well-greased 15″ x 10″ x 1″ baking pan. Bake at 425 for 15 – 17 minutes, or until golden brown.
4 – Let cool a bit, then cut. Should yield about 2½ dozen.

Pro-tip: buying brown sugar makes you a loser. DAMN THE MAN! Make that shit yo’self! All you need to make your own brown sugar is regular white sugar and molasses. That’s it. Start with a ratio of 1 cup sugar to 2 tablespoons molasses, see how you like it, and adjust accordingly. I use black strap molasses because I like the taste and some say it has nutritional value. Also, I’m not a huge fan of oranges, so I’d go with strawberry or raspberry preserves instead. And I don’t think throwing a handful of dark chocolate chips in there will hurt any. I’d stick with putting walnuts in there. Nuts are good for your health, especially if you have heart issues. So, put those nuts in your mouth, HAHAHA!

I hope this recipe turns out well. I don’t buy those store brand oat bars anymore. If you get the regular ones, they’re loaded with sugar or HFCS and preservatives. If you get the organic/”specialty” ones, you’ll have to take a loan because they’re so GD expensive. These sound like they’ll be a great, budget friendly,  snack for the whole family.

Enjoy biznotchezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!


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