I think I woke up on the wrong side of the universe this morning. It was one of those mornings where you wish you could have a do-over, ya know? I was going to go into a diatribe about why sucky people suck, but what good would that do? It wouldn’t make me feel any better. And it’s been done. By people who are better at this whole writing thing than I am.
So, what do you do when you’re feeling like the bottom of an elephant’s foot and need some cheering up? Why, you search the interwebs of course! And what did I discover on my journey?? Oh nothing, only the sexiest man alive!
Oh Ricky, you’re so fine. You’re so fine, you blow my mind! Where have you been all my life? I never knew a stone-cold fox such as this graced the surface of this Earth. How can I ever be sad again knowing that beauty, fair and pure, actually exists?
Where do I begin in describing his perfection? “The ripping and the tearing” are the sounds hearts all over the globe are making. Because he’s not a “one woman” kind of guy. No, not Ricky. There’s just too much of him to go around. And then when he starts shaking his money-maker…::swoons:: How can any lady resist his mating dance of awesomeness? Him busting his ass @0.55 and nearly busting it again @1.09? That’s all part of his plan to lure you into his Winnebago of weird sexual awkwardness Love.
The best part of this video? Well it’s a tie. Best part #1: he’s from Arizona. Only the best people are from Arizona! Best part #2: at the very end he seems to be forcing his pelvis out in front of him as far as it will go. Why? So he can admire his own lovely package! Why should everyone else get to enjoy the scenery?