HA HA, FOOLED YOU! I bet you thought I was going to go another day without giving you a PKD, didn’t you? Well, you were wrong. In yo’ face!
I found the perfect recipe for the mood I’m in.
Failin’ Palin Baked Alaska:
2 quarts vanilla ice cream, softened
1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
8 egg whites
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup white sugar
1 large ego
1 cup of sense of entitlement
dash of apathy
handful of incompetence
1. Line the bottom and sides of an 8-inch round mixing bowl or deep 8-inch square container with foil. Spread ice cream in container, packing firmly. Cover and freeze 8 hours or until firm. Use those 8 hours to tweet about things you only have a vague understanding of and watching FoxNews for new catch phrases.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees FAHRENHEIT! Celsius is un-American, commie! Grease and flour an 8×8 inch pan.
3. Prepare cake mix with egg and almond extract. Complain about how hard it is to make this cake mix. Give yourself a raise for all your hard work. Pour into prepared pan.
4. Bake in preheated oven according to package instructions, until center of cake springs back when lightly touched. Try to use the analogy “springing back like a baked cake” when being interviewed but instead say “baked like a cake in the springtime”, then blame the liberal media for portraying you in a bad light.
5. Begin to beat egg whites with cream of tartar, salt and sugar, then realize that you’re halfway through this recipe and quit. Tell the people who were expecting a completed Baked Alaska that your quitting was in their best interest. Then, brag on national TV about what an expert baker you are.
(for the actual recipe, go here)