Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

June 30, 2010

Holy underwear! It’s a glorious day here in Brooklyn. The humidity is finally gone. I can cook for my family without feeling an intense urge to throw my stove out of the window for making me sweat like Michael Jackson at a cub scout convention.

Since it’s not hotter than Satan’s a-hole up in this piece today, I’ve decided to give you lovelies a recipe I love and that seems way fancier than it actually is.

Pork Tenderloin with Roasted New Potatoes:
1 pork tenderloin; about 1-2lbs(I just buy the one that looks the best)
1-2lbs new potatoes(whichever ones you like); quartered
about 1/3 cup of oil
1-2 cloves of garlic, minced
about 1tbsp italian seasoning(basil,oregano, marjoram, rosemary, thyme)
about ½ tsp ground cumin
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 375. Mix garlic, italian seasoning, cumin, salt, pepper and oil together. Coat meat with some of the oil mixture. Put it into a large roasting pan. Coat potatoes with the rest of the oil mixture. Put potatoes in pan around meat. Cook covered for about 20-25 minutes. Uncover and stir potatoes. Continue to cook uncovered for another 10 minutes or so. Internal temp should be 155 degrees and juices should run clear. Let meat rest 10 minutes before slicing. Serve. Sit back with a look of smug satisfaction on your face as the people you’ve served praise your kitchen prowess.

I don’t have an instant read thermometer. I rely on my mad funky fresh cooking skillz to know when my pork is done. When the juices run clear, you’re safe. DO NOT cut the meat until it has rested. It will continue to cook, so you’ll know it’s definitely safe to eat. Also, the juices need to redistribute. Trust me. Have I ever steered you wrong?


Puff, Puff, Pass Proposition 19

June 30, 2010

I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no. I don’t smoke marijuana. My drug of choice is the sweet aqua vitae known as vodka. I do, however support the legalization of marijuana. I hope California passes Prop 19 this year. Before you grab your torches and pitchforks, here me out.

It may surprise you to know that there are a lot of moms out there who support the legalization of marijuana. There are a number of reasons why. But I can only speak for myself and tell you why I feel the way I do about the ganja:

First and foremost, hemp. Industrial cannabis is versatile, contains little-no THC(the stuff in weed that makes you high), and is highly renewable. One acre of hemp(grown in one season) yields as much paper as up to 4 acres of trees(which take years to grow). Hemp is edible as whole seeds, hulled seed, protein powder, or as oil extracted from seeds. It’s high fiber, high in omega-3 fatty acid, and high in vitamins E and C. Hemp oil also has anti-inflamatory properties and has been shown to relieve the symptoms of eczema(which I have and it’s frigging annoying!). You know what, just read this. Industrial hemp is just all kinds of awesome. The US imports more hemp than any other country, but doesn’t grow it. What kind of ridiculousness is that?

I’m pretty sure people don’t have a big problem with industrial hemp, though. So, let’s go on to why I support the legalization of marijuana for recreational use.

Think about this…has the criminalization of marijuana stopped people from buying it, growing it, using it? Yeah, not so much. I can’t think of one person I know who hasn’t at least tried it. And think of the billions of US dollars that, instead of being kept here in the US economy where we need it to be, are put into the hands of underground international gangs.

Arrests for possession disproportionately affect African-Americans/Blacks and Hispanics/Latinos(in the interest of saving time, I’m going to say Blacks and Latinos, ok?). While Blacks only account for 13.5% of annual pot users, they account for 26% of all marijuana arrests(source). If it were legal, what excuse would THE MAN use to racially profile? Hmmm…

I do not believe pot is any more or less a gateway drug than alcohol or tobacco are. Yet, those last 2 are legal and marijuana isn’t. Even though it’s less harmful to your health. I’m in no way saying that pot isn’t harmful. Smoking anything in excess can’t be good for you in the long run. I’m saying pot isn’t nearly as bad as other legal drugs(don’t even get me started on prescription drugs!). No one has ever overdosed on it. I’m sure it’s possible, but it’s highly improbable.

Think of the revenue! Legalize it, regulate it, and tax the shit out of it. Let’s face it, we need the money.

I don’t advocate the use of marijuana. I’ve heard the argument that if it’s legalized kids will be more likely to try it. I call bullshit. Part of the allure is that it’s taboo. Take away the taboo, kids become disinterested. And guess what? Kids are trying it anyway. As a mom I have to come to terms with the fact that there is a very real possibility my kid will try weed. Making it legal won’t change that. All I can do is give him the information and tools necessary for him to make the safest decisions for himself.

I don’t really like drugs much, legal or not. That doesn’t give me the right to tell a grown ass person what they can and can’t do with their own body.


Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

June 29, 2010

Alright, enough with the serious shit. It’s Potential Kitchen Disaster time! I know I’m a bit late with my posts today and I apologize. But 1) my kid is home for summer and mom time > blog time, and 2) I don’t get paid for this and you don’t pay for the timely delivery of PKDs, so screw you(I mean that in the nicest way possible).

I was thinking about food we buy in boxes. You know, a lot of those things we buy out of convenience are actually quite easy to make. Also, they taste either the same or better. So, I’ve decided to give you not 1 but 2, count ’em, 2 recipes to try. Pancakes and Fruit Sauce. DE and LICIOUS.

Pancakes: yields 4 to 6 servings
2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
1 or 2 eggs(depends on size-I use 1 jumbo egg)
1½-2 cups milk
2 tbsp butter melted and cooled, plus more for cooking

Mix dry ingredients in one bowl

In another bowl, beat eggs into 1½ cups milk, then stir in 2 tbsp melted butter. Gently stir wet into dry, mixing only enough to moisten. A few lumps are OK. If batter is too thick, add a bit more milk.

Cook over medium-low heat. Should be about 2 minutes per side.

Pancake Pro-tip: the first pancake should always always be a tester pancake. Why? Because it will almost certainly come out messed up. You are checking to see if your pan or griddle(if you have one I’m jealous) is hot enough. You also want to taste it to make sure it doesn’t need a pinch more sugar. They shouldn’t be sweet, though. That’s what the next recipe is for.

Fruit Sauce:
½ cup water
½ cup sugar
3 tbsp butter
2 cups berries or other ripe fruit

Combine water, sugar and butter in medium saucepan. Cook over medium heat, shaking and stirring pan until mixture is thick and syrupy but NOT BROWNED! Not because I’m racist, but because in this case, browned = overdone.

Toss in fruit and cook over low heat until fruit begins to break up and release juices; about 2 minutes for berries. Other fruits may take a bit longer.

For the pancake recipe, you can add fruit, chocolate chips(CHOCOLATE NOM NOM), or berries to your pancakes. As the first side cooks, put your addition onto the uncooked side. Or, you could use orange juice instead of milk and add a little orange zest to the batter. It’s just like that guy back at college used to tell you, there’s nothing wrong with a little experimentation.

The fruit sauce will be chunky and thick(THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!). Properly stored, it’ll keep in the fridge for about a week. I don’t really know. It doesn’t last that long here. You can use this sauce for pretty much anything. I’ve used it on ice cream. You could throw it in a blender and use it as a spread. Use it instead of that canned “frosting” on your friends’ bday cakes. The possibilities are endless. ENDLESS I TELL YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA!

…OK maybe I got a little carried away. Seriously, lovelies, try these recipes. You’ll like them better than box pancake mix and that high fructose corn slop syrup.


Yuck

June 29, 2010

If you’re not browsing reddit every time you have a free second then you’re doing the interwebs wrong. A lot of the time, it’s a bunch of funny pics and memes that are hilarious at first but get old pretty quick. But once you get past all that, you get to the heart of reddit. Interesting articles submitted by people all over the globe that are discussed and debated intelligently(well, mostly anyway).

Today, while looking for some inspiration I found this article about a teacher in Florida who plead guilty to having sex with 2 of her male students.

Ragusa, a former math teacher at Davidsen Middle School in Tampa, Fla., pleaded guilty in April to three counts of lewd and lascivious battery involving a 14-year-old boy, and two counts of having unlawful sex with a minor involving a 16-year-old student. The assaults occurred in 2008.

After reading some of the comments on the original article and on reddit, I found myself conflicted. The mom in me wants to rip this lady’s head off and let a necrophiliac make sweet sweet love to it. The rational part of me wants to look at the facts and analyze exactly what the hell is going on here. Since the mom side makes for a really short post, we’ll examine the rational side a bit.

First of all, it’s very clear to me from the article that the 14yr old boy was definitely molested. He obviously feels like his body and life have been violated and my heart breaks for the boy. The 16yr old was violated as well, but I think it will probably have a less severe – or at least different – effect on him. In both cases, this woman used her position of authority to manipulate these boys into a sexual “relationship” with her. For that, I hope she rots.

But you know what really bothers me about this whole thing? It’s the double standard. If the gender of the offender was male, there’d be little to no debate in the comment section of whether or not he’s guilty. There would be that one dude who would come out and say something like, “I think a 16yr old knows whether or not they want to have sex” or, “Perhaps 10 years is a little too much time. Maybe she needs intense counseling” and the page would explode in attacks on that dude. You know it and I know it. There is a serious problem with the way we look at female sex offenders. This is sexism at possibly it’s most dangerous.

Where are the feminists in these cases? Where are the people calling for equal treatment under the law? Just because the offender is a woman doesn’t make them any more or less guilty. And it sure as hell doesn’t make them any less sick in the head.

–Side Note: I’m not a feminist. I’m not anti-feminism either. I’m all about equal rights and don’t like to associate myself with a movement that often times promotes one gender’s rights over another, whether intentional or not.


Blue Collar Mamma’s Blog: Supplemental

June 28, 2010

See that ^ right up there at the top? That is a Star Trek reference. You know what that means? This is officially the coolest blog of all time. Of all time.

Anyway, I just wanted to clear a few things up here, if I may. I apologize for any formatting mistakes I’m making here. I’ve never really written a blog, so I don’t have any idea what I’m doing. If anything should be different, or if you have an idea for me feel free to leave me a comment however critical it may be. I promise not to hunt you down and destroy you like a dog in the street.

Also, I want to sort of update something I posted recently. There is one of those annoying, full of shit emails going around about the President not wanting to sign some Boy Scouts of America Eagle Scout certificates. THIS IS NOT FACTUAL! I don’t know where people come up with these turd-nuggets of misinformation, but it really needs to stop. I wish he wouldn’t sign them. I wish he’d stand up and say that the BSA is a discriminatory and exclusionary private organization that this government will not and should not endorse. But that dream, like my dreams involving Ignacio Figueras, won’t come true.

And now, my lovely lovelies, I must go cook for my family. Live long and prosper, bitchezz!


Potential Kitchen Disaster of the Day

June 28, 2010

It’s about 90 bajillion degrees here in Brooklyn, NY and the humidity is about 2000%. My hair looks like I just performed cunnilingus on a wall outlet(yes I did just say that, you prude!). So the logical thing to do would be to turn the oven on and bake something, right? I’m pretty sure that’s how logic works. Just ask these guys.

What the heck ever, man. It’s the last day of school and I want to make something special for Lil Blue Collar to celebrate.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins:

All dry ingredients in one bowl
1 cup regular flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tbsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
mix in chocolate chips

All wet ingredients in another bowl
3 bananas(they should be as black as my soul) mashed up
1 cup canola oil
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
Mix all the wet ingredients together.

Pour wet ingredients into dry all at once. Fold wet into dry UNTIL JUST MIXED. Do NOT over mix that shit, son. Trust me, your muffins will come out tougher than a $10 hooker on a Tuesday night(I don’t even know what that means). Grease a muffin tin. Fill cups about ¾ full. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes, or until a tooth pick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let cool in pan for 5 minutes. Eat that muffin. Nod your head in satisfaction. Ponder the greatness that is BCM’s daily recipe posts.

You can add nuts along with – or instead of – chocolate chips(but why oh why would you remove The Chocolate?). As with most baking, there isn’t much room for error here. So follow my directions and no one will get hurt.


Monday Mom Time!

June 28, 2010

So, for those of you who hate when moms talk smack about mom stuff…I don’t know, go read something way more awesome than this. The fact is, I am a mom and sometimes I need to put my mom perspective on things. I promise not to be too over the top(no i don’t).

I have one kid. I think he’s the most badass thing on the planet. I love him more than I have ever loved anything(sorry, chocolate cake). He is the most important thing to me. And he knows that Mr. Blue Collar and I feel that way about him. That said, I want you to know that I don’t expect you to feel the same way about my son. Shocking, I know! I don’t expect you to think he’s the most precious thing you’ve ever seen and to treat him like a little prince.

Do I want you to treat my kid like he’s invisible, or like he’s a pest to be tolerated for whatever short period of time you need to be around him? No, of course not. But I can’t control how other people feel about my kid. I think it’s ridiculous and unrealistic for parents to expect complete strangers to treat their kid like they’re special little angels. If you treat him poorly, you better believe I’m gonna call you out on it though. Don’t mess with a Blue Collar Mamma! All I want is people to treat him with the same general respect they’d treat any other stranger. Please, thank you, excuse me. That sort of thing.Ya know?

No, I don’t think your kid is the cutest kid ever. Why would you even ask me that? I think MY kid is the cutest kid ever. Because he’s my kid. That’s how that works, see? I don’t have to like your kid just because he/she happens to be a child. Sorry. Sometimes the shit you let your kid do ain’t cute. It’s annoying. I’m not saying change the way you’re doing things. It’s your kid, you do what you want. I’m saying I don’t have to like it.

No, I don’t think every woman on Earth wants to be a mom. Not even a little. And yes, I think that’s perfectly OK. In fact, I think it’s wonderful that a woman can know herself so well and be so completely honest with herself about such a thing. Bravo, non-moms! ::standing ovation::

No, I don’t want anymore kids. No more womb fruit here, sorry. No, Lil Blue Collar doesn’t want a little brother or sister. He’s not dumb. New sibling = having to share. He’s having none of that shit. Our little Blue Collar family is whole, complete with chosen family(our awesomely awesome friends) and blood family(the ones we’d be chill with even if they weren’t related).

It does take a village to raise a child. But I think “village” should be interpreted as the people you choose to have around your kid, not the entirety of the human race.

Aaaaaand end rant. This long-winded ramble was brought to you today by Andrew Wakefield, Jenny McCarthy and the anti-vaccine crazies(not really, but it is an interesting article).

Last day of school today, WOOHOO!!